PART 37: EDEN

May 2021, Melbourne

I haven't been able to find the time for the past, like, week to sit down and record. I've just been working. And when I've not been working, I've been sleeping. Doing literally like the bare minimum to survive.

Yeah, it's just been one of those weeks. It’s been the past couple weeks where work has not been overly profitable. There's been quite a few nights where I've gone home with not that much money. It's just slow nights. So I've been trying to make up for it by working more, because the more that you're there, and the more opportunity there is to make money. But that's a trap, because then you get burnt out. I'm currently feeling the effects. It's definitely taking a toll on my energy and my ability to focus on other aspects of my life.

I’m taking a Friday night off which, I know, could possibly be me sacrificing a decent night's income because I normally do quite well on Friday nights. But judging by the last few Friday nights, I'm not sacrificing much. I will benefit more from taking the night off. So, that's what's happening. I have just been working and sleeping.

During the week I did see my doctor and my psych and I'm in the middle of working with my doctor and my psych to find a new psychologist who will be dedicated to my goals for my own mental health journey. Which is great. Both my current therapist and my doctor are really supportive and amazing for all of my needs. They just are really open to meeting me where I need to be met. So that's great. That's what I need in healthcare professionals. I did that midweek and, aside from that, I've just been going to work.

I'm genuinely so grateful for my work because I do get like quite a good social fill with the girls at work. So I haven't been missing out too much as far as social life because I do get to catch up with work friends. But I definitely need to just have a few good nights income wise, so that I can take a week off and just chill. But yeah, I'm just manifesting it. You know, I'm just, I'm laying in bed tonight bringing in all the good vibes.

But no, I actually do think that it's not just me. I know that it's not just me. I have a lot of other friends who like either I work with or are also just sex workers and work full service who are also struggling from burnout at the moment and complaining. Not that I want anyone else to be in the same position that I'm in at all, but it does help being in that position knowing that you're not the only one. That it's not something to do with you. It's just industry wide. But not only for the sake for myself, but for the sake of all of us, I hope that the climate of the sex industry in Melbourne picks up. Unfortunately, coming out of COVID, the economic climate in general is suffering and I think any businesses that depend on people, in general, having expendable income in order to make a profit is going to struggle at the moment.

So yeah. I don't really know what else to say other than that. Aside from that there's not much else on. I'm just really excited for Eid. I'm really excited for like Ramadan to be officially over. Actually, I got my period so I got to break my fast early for the last week of Ramadan. But it will be over next week, so I'm excited for that. I'm celebrating with my friend, my best friend. That'll be good. Aside from that. I'm just chilling, smooth sailing. I’ll see how I go.